Find the Sibyl in us All

            At times people can portray themselves as a different kind of person then they truly are inside. They give off an image that they think people will appreciate and approve of rather than just being who they really are. In the Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, the character of Sibyl Vane points out this discrepancy in Dorian. Throughout his life, Dorian is easily influenced by Lord Henry and does everything he says because he wants others to approve of him in his society. Sibyl is the kind of person Dorian could be with if he wasn’t so concerned about the approval of others. When Lord Henry said, “If you had married this girl, you would have been wretched…I say nothing about the social mistake, which would have been abject, which, of course, I would not have allowed, but I assure you that in any case the whole thing would have been an absolute failure,” Dorian immediately lost his guilt over Sibyl’s suicide. If he wasn’t so absorbed with what others thought of him, then he may have married Sibyl anyway. In his true nature, he fell in love with a simple girl. If only he just stuck to that nature…

            In the world today people are just as easily influenced by others as Dorian was. Some people put on an image that they think others will find “cool”, or “popular” even if it isn’t how they want to act or be seen. It is sad that people can’t act themselves without being judged for being different or not “cool” enough. But in who’s standards are these? Why do people seek to please others? More emphasis should be placed on being who you are and not caring what others think. People need to embrace their own thoughts and feelings without worrying about how others people view them. People need to find the "Sibyl's" in their life and stick to them. 

A Pointed Finger

The statement “A man’s accusing finger always finds a woman,” can be seen throughout the novel A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. On various occasions the men and society blame the women for things that go on and they must endure much injustice in patriarchal Afghan society. For example Rasheed always finds a way to put the blame of situations on his wives, especially Mariam. When Mariam could not bear Rasheed a son, he blamed her for all the miscarriages and grew resentful toward her. Also in the events that led up to Rasheed’s death, Mariam knew if she had chosen to run away with the family then the Taliban would have tracked her down and placed the blame on her, no matter the motive and defense of her action of murdering her husband. Women had more limitations and rules then men surrounding crimes so even if Laila had defended Mariam’s crime, she still would have been convicted along with the possibility of Laila being convicted as well.  If a man accused a woman then she was essentially already convicted from the start. 

            In today’s society it is sad to say that this statement is relevant in some situations. There are many instances regarding rape, when a woman is blamed for the crime, because she was wearing promiscuous clothing, or putting herself out there. There is one example from a court in New Delhi, India where a lawyer representing three men accused of gang-raping a student aboard a bus in India, blamed the victim for the attack (who was a woman), saying "respected" women in India are not raped. This example shows one of many examples when women are blamed for events that are out of their control. This shows that at times women can be objectified to unfair blame and circumstances.

An Awakening

          “One of these days,” she sad, “I’m going to pull myself together for a while and think-try to determine what character of a woman I am; for, candidly, I don’t know. By all the codes, which I am acquainted with, I am a devilishly wicked specimen of the sex.  But some way I can’t convince myself that I am. I must think about it.”

            In the Awakening, Edna finds herself becoming a person different from what is expected of her. She explores an “awakening” within herself of who she wants to be. She wants to be an individual. But she doesn’t only want to be this however; she wants to be an individual woman. This in her society was something practically unattainable. A woman could not declare herself an individual, lest being seen as a going crazy. Edna’s friend Adele achieves some individuality through her music, but it is disguised as entertainment and just an activity that she loves to do. Edna could never have enough satisfaction with that, however, so she found out. She wasn’t the person she had thought she was. She discovered she didn’t want to be a woman living her whole life pleasing her husband. She wanted her ideas to be seen as innovative and imaginative rather than talk of a women going crazy. She wasn’t the “wicked specimen” that her society accused her as being. She just wanted to be in control of herself and discover who she was without others telling her who she “should be.”

            In the 19^th century many women were not given the right to be an individual. They were held back and belittled by men around them. They were told that they would never amount to something as great as a man could.  Often with this laid before them, women would settle into the image they were “supposed” to and would refrain from doing activities they actually wanted.  Edna challenged this by actually taking time to think about herself and who she wanted to be.  In the end Edna came to the conclusion that in her society things couldn’t change. Even if she changed herself, she would amount to nothing in the eyes of others because they would only see her as defying and sick in the mind. She found her way out of the realized horror by ending her own life. She sacrificed her individuality.